From: ISN (isn_editor_3@hotmail.com)
Date: Saturday, March 13, 1999 09:41 PM


THIS IS INTERSTELLAR NEWS FOR MARCH 13, 2499


PEEK-A-BOO, I SEE YOU!

MERCHANT CITY, MANTON PRIME: Federal authorities confirm that a Y2.5K bug has been found in the programs that operate cloaks and jump drives. Attempts to remove the bug has been unsuccessful. Shortly, Federal Authorities expect that cloaks and jump drives will begin to malfunction and will continue for approximately 2 weeks. Traders and fighters throughout the galaxies are concerned about its impact. Several survivalist groups are stock piling canned Soylent and Pop-Tarts and are planning to wait out the apocalypse in federal protection. The leader of the Underground has claimed that this is a deliberate attempt on the part of the Federal Government to exterminate them.


THE UNFORGIVEN DISSOLVE ALL NONAGGRESSION PACTS

TU HQ: The TU Board of Directors announced that all NAP with other alliances will expire on March 14th. This follows many announcements of new NAP and MDP (mutual defense pacts). While several alliances have made public declarations, several times more agreements have been made behind the scenes. Federal observers are concerned that a small skirmish will result in Interstellar War involving most of the major alliances.




NOW A MESSAGE FROM
THE CHURCH OF ELVIS FETT AND THE LATTER DAY SAINTS OF DENIAL



FETT'S PRAYER
Me, grant Me the serenity of admiring newbie masses,
The courage to face the delusions of my own self-worth,
And the wisdom to know that nobody cares.

FETT 3:15
For Elvis Fett so loved himself,
He deleted his trader to become a martyr,
So that who ever shall believe in him and the crap he posts,
Shall not perish, but will forever bask in the glory of his ego.


TELETUBBIES ALLIANCE LEADERS ABDUCTED

WEST QUAD: The 4 four leaders of the TELETUBBIES ALLIANCE were abducted yesterday as they were shopping for handbags in west quad. This picture was sent to the alliance shortly before bedtime last night:



Police have set up road blocks on TELETUBBIE homeworld in an attempt to catch the TubbieNappers.



If you have any information, please contact your local police department.


TONIGHT ON SPACE MERCHANT CABLE

Star Trek: The Next Regeneration: Counselor Troi takes Prozac and "gets happy" with Commander Data.

Virtual Jerry Springer: "Woky are the father of my 14 kids"


ERROR STORM FORCAST

Error Storms are predicted to be mild to moderate through Monday, when the InterstellarServer is upgraded, at which time the Error Storms are expected to increase from moderate to severe.




JOKE OF THE DAY

How many Elvis Fetts does it take to change a light bulb?

Three

One to change the light bulb
One to post about how nobody changed a light bulb better
One to delete to his trader for the good of all light bulbs


TODAY'S ISN BROUGHT TO YOU BY:

MICROSOFT: "Errors are not an option, they are bundled with the software!"


EDITORIAL

Just got back from my vacation. It will take me a while to catch up on nearly 3 weeks worth of messages. To those of you who sent pictures, THANK YOU!

EDITOR #3